Fool in the Rain

Today I was requested to write a letter of rec for a colleague, whom I admire. But then I think about how wonderful it will be to have that individual out of my life. I feel like this is one of those blessings in a small package. I can speak my peace and move on. And I can rest assured that they have moved on in a way that makes them happiest.

I have been off of Facebook for a little over a month now. Sometimes I think that I should just break down and go back. Catch up with my family and friends. I missed the death of a friend's Grandmother. I missed a string of tornadoes in the mid-west that effected my aunt and her family. I missed photos from a friend's trip to Iceland.

I am caught up on all of my shows. New Girl, Parenthood, How I Met Your Mother, and a couple others. I tried watching Portlandia, but it really isn't funny to me. I can understand how it could be funny to someone who doesn't really know. I learned today that Seattle elected a socialist to a seat on their city council. I'm glad that someone is awake and paying attention.

I started a scrapbook tonight. Throwing things away keeps getting easier. And the things that I have to keep, I'm putting them in a book. It's working. I've found stickers and I stuck them to the book. Stickers I could only buy once, because they are from France and Germany. But I figured it was better to stick them somewhere, than let them sit in a drawer and rot. I believe that I can empty the bottom right drawer into the scrap book and my cloud box. It will be my place for things of my past that still feel like me. Things that still bring me joy to look through. I'm never happier than when I'm going through these things. If they don't make me happy, I am getting better at throwing them away. If they do make me happy, I put them in the book. Something I can flip through and remember.

Tonight, my aforementioned crush asked me to do something tomorrow night. I cannot believe that I said no. I'm going to see a performance of "American Idiot" on stage. I think it will be good. I wonder if it will be better than hanging out with Patrick. Spending time with him isn't as glamorous as I like to think it is. Usually we get high and I close myself off and become completely insecure and I hang on every word and over analyze what he could mean by simple things such as "I'm hungry" or "Would you like more water."

I drink a lot of water. More than I ever have before in my life. One day this year, the Saturday of Labor Dave, I drank 64oz in 12 hours. I think I hit the Honey Buckets at least 6 times. When I'm nervous or insecure, I drink even more. Of course I'd like more water. Drown me already.

This house has nearly served it's purpose. I told myself 3 years. I could have 3 years. 10 months later I am ready for the next challenge. I'm quite proud of how much I'm letting go. It won't be so hard to move. There isn't as much this time around. Not like last time.

I'm looking to move into a studio. I just want one room of my things. I think I need to take some measurements. I do have a lot of big furniture. My art table seems more natural in a living space. More likely to inspire others to create. I bet I have 420sqft of furniture. I might have to let go of a couple chairs.

Last winter we invented the best drinking game for this space. I am determined to play it one more time before I leave. I just wish that I could have the house to myself every once in awhile.